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18 was forgettable. It was not the life changing experience I thought it would be. I guess every teenager believes that once they hit 18, they will become adults and their whole lifes would be different. I was no different. But I figured out much later that, adulthood is not related to any age, let alone 18. I don’t even really remember what I did that night. It was just, forgettable.

I expected much less out of 19. I was too dissapointed with my relationship with 18 to expect more. For me, 19 was just one of those mid-ages where you forget how old you are and keep saying 18 to anyone who asks you. It certainly has been kinder to me. Especially after what 18 has done. But 19 was always  just a step towards 20, and nothing more.

20 was the year everything started to change. I became more comfortable with being myself. I gradually healed from the depressions and angst of my teenage years. I was just happier. However, it was not without its ups and downs. It was during this year that I moved to a country without any connections. But even though, I was more ready to take in the fresh experiences 20 had to offer, life was very lonely.

21 was one of the most intense years. I came to the end of my student life in 21. And I think I was just waiting for “real” life to start. I was ofcourse also faced with the stress of finishing all my classes in time. But the beginning of proper adult life was surprisingly not much different. I lost someone who was very dear to my heart, but I also moved in with the love of my life. It turns out, adult life is just like non-adult life. Except you need to figure out your own insurance and do a lot of ironing. Oh, and find a job.

Now, I am 22. I must say, this one had the most promising start of them all. But I understand now that I needed all my ages. I needed them to be able to see that 22 and the other ages to come will never be what I expect them to be. But if I keep my eyes open, they will always have something better to offer.


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