Finding Your Creative Outlet

Creative Path

Since I was a little kid, it was obvious to me that I wanted to spend my life being creative. First, I learned to play the flute. Then the piano and then the guitar. My favourite class was the arts class where we got down and dirty even though I didn’t have any extraordinary painting skills. I would lose myself everytime I watched a movie. For many years, I wanted to be an actress. The idea of experiencing things that I could not in my own life was fascinating to me. Fitting in several lifes in just one.

Though as I grew up, things started to change. First I doubted my talent and my looks. In my first acting class I’ve been to in college, even though the teacher believed in me, I could not let loose. This made me doubt myself even more.

I was already studying Media & Communications at that time and I started to meet other creative outlets. I’ve learned how to use the camera, how to edit footage and how to write. And I loved doing every single one of them. But I never felt like I was particularly good at any of them.

In one of my favourite Woody Allen films “Vicky Christina Barcelone”, when Scarlett Johansson’s character is talking about her failure to create, she says “I just have to come face-to-face with the fact that I am not gifted. I can appreciate art and I love music. But it is really sad, really, because I feel like I have a lot to express and I am not gifted.” This explains how I feel most of the time.

Many creative people seem to pick up their field at a young age and grow with it. I ,on the other hand, have no clue about which way I want to express myself. I feel creative and my mind fills up with ideas from time to time. But I mostly don’t know how to realize them.

It is hard for me to feel confident and decisive about one outlet and move along. I have too many doubts and I fear making the wrong decisions. Hopefully with more time and experience, I will figure out something that I both enjoy and that I’m good at. But until then I will try to enjoy the process and do not get frustrated.

Meanwhile I would love to know in the comments if you have similar problems or if you had any in the past how did you move past it. 

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6 thoughts on “Finding Your Creative Outlet

  1. I always admired people who could make things like my mother did. My talents did not seem to be there, or in music or dance or … pretty much anything else people generally label “talent.” I tried drawing and painting and some other things. About 11 years ago I made my first quilt. It was pretty awful and frankly, a pretty awful experience, not something to entice me to try again. But I did. Now quilting is my talent, my art, and for lack of a better word, my passion. It is what I do and how I think. I am a designer and artist and craftsman. I am in my mid-50s, so have come to art rather late in the game. Just stay open to experiences, try new things, be willing to fail. You do NOT actually fail when you’ve learned something valuable, so count new things for what they are. Experiments and exploration.

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  2. I do agree that most people who were young grew up with an inherited talent, leading to where they are to their destined path. I believe that something we used to enjoy as a child may not reciprocate its desire to follow us, just like how I played the piano at a young age. But my bratty self didn’t want to continue and as of now, I wish I could go back and practice everyday because who knows what new songs I could learn to play. I used to draw manga/anime too, but I lost my ability on sketching because many people thought my artwork wasn’t up to specific standards – getting me discouraged to continue drawing. I’m like the same way as you, but I don’t know how old you are. Not saying age matters, but we’re still young and I am still figuring out what I love doing most and I believe that matters if you focus on yourself and what you love doing most is what defines you. Like the previous poster, anything you make in the past doesn’t define a mistake but it is simply learning and experimenting. Even I struggle with finding creativity, so you are not alone 🙂

    Lee
    Last Night with Lee

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    1. Thank you for sharing. I always regret not working harder on my piano and ballet classes too. I could be in a different place now if I did. But I wouldn’t really want to be somewhere else. So I guess it worked out for the best at the end.

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  3. It happened to me and still happens. My creative outlet has always been writing and photography but when I start comparing myself with others, my own self shrinks to a very small size. It really bothers me but at this young age, I can’t really help it. I hope to grow with it while being determined. I guess we all have to go with the flow until we’re mature.

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    1. Yeah. Comparing my talents to others’ is really the one thing that makes me the most insecure. So I try to see them as lessons and learn from them instead of seeing them as competition. But I agree that it is though. Thank you for your comment.

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